the scariest night of my life

He's a little bigger than this now, but this is the most recent picture of Connor that I have. He just gave Ron and I the scariest night we have ever had as parents. Now remember that we have had our share of sick kids starting with Andrew being 9 week premature and in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for 2 months and continuing through a Christmas Day 2003 emergency room visit with Tyler for apparently swallowing a puzzle piece, we have never been through anything like last Wednesday night. Connor had been sick since Sunday night, Feb. 19th. It just seemed like a cold that was getting worse. After Ron and the kids came home from church on Wednesday night Ron commented that I should make a doctor's appointment the next day for Connor because he was not getting better. Ron went on to bed while I tried to get Connor comfortable enough to sleep. At about 11:00 pm he started crying in a way I had not heard before and I would try to change positions or walk around with him and I could get him to clam down for a few minutes. Then about midnight nothing I did would calm him down. He sounded especially bad because he had lost his voice the day before because of the cold or the crying - I'm not sure which. About 1:00am I went upstairs to where Ron was trying to sleep and told him I couldn't do anything for Connor. Ron held him for a couple minutes and then said "Ok, let's go." We headed to the hospital on the other side of Springfield because we knew they had Peds. We arrived at the ER (Connor screaming the whole time) and were taken very quickly back to a room. They started to work Connor up - history and physical, draw blood, swab his nose, sent him for an xray. All the while Connor is SCREAMING. They check to make sure he didn't have a scratched eye or a hair wrapped around a finger or toe - anything the try to figure out why he was so inconsolable. At one point I was holding Connor and he started forcing his head back which made the doctor start thinking meningitis. She took Connor out of my arms and laid him down on his back on the bed and started talking to us about doing a spinal tap - which Ron let her know very quickly that he was not opposed to that. At that point, the doctor decided to wipe the gunk(is that a word?) out of Connor's eyes and nose and as she did that all of a sudden he sucked in a deep breath and stopped!! It was quickly obvious that he was no moving air - Ron grabbed him off the bed and put him upright trying to help him . Ron had Connor facing away from him and toward me and I could see the changes going on all over that little face and I knew right away that he could not move any air. I think I said to Ron twice "He's not breathing!!" At that point, Ron went into doctor mode and started barking out orders. The first thing he said was, "This baby needs to be intubated." (Which means a tube down his throat to breath for him). As soon as he said that I immediately grabbed my phone, left the room and called our parents to get them praying. When I came back in the room, they were bagging Connor (forcing air into his lungs) and since he responded they did not need to intubate him. They continued bagging him until it was clear that he was breathing on his own and then they put him on an oxygen mask. At that point his labs came back and Connor had tested positive for RSV and they decided to send him to another hospital better equipped to handle it. We decided we wanted him sent to Children's Hospital in Columbus and they worked on getting him transferred and calling the helicopter.

There is so much of this story that I am leaving out because it would take way too long to write and I'm not that good of a writer, but I can tell you that the hardest decision we made that night was to send Connor off in the helicopter without one of us with him. I wanted Ron to go because I wanted him to be there to make any decisions that needed to be made and he wanted me to go because he didn't want me to drive by myself. In the end we chose to trust the Lord and the helicopter crew with Connor and for Ron and I to go together in the car.

To make a very long night and day and night and day short by the time we got to the ER in Columbus we could see improvement, by the time he was admitted to the Infections Disease floor we could see more improvement and each couple of hours we could see even more improvement until he was ready to go home on Friday night.

RSV is a virus that looks like a cold and most of the time doesn't go beyond that. However, in babies can be very dangerous. Premature infants are particularly vunerable to his virus. As a virus there is no treatment other than time. The doctors and hospitals can give support in the way of oxygen, but cannot do anything other than support the baby and the parents through the progression on the virus.

We are extremely thankful for

• Ron not getting a ticket or in an accident while driving as quickly as possible,
• the Springfield ER staff who resonded quickly in this emergency and once Connor was stable made quick arrangements to get Connor to the best place for him even with Dad breathing down their necks,
• a helicopter crew who knew what they were doing and took good care of Connor without Mom and Dad breathing down their necks,
• the Columbus ER staff who assessed Connor quickly to get him to the right floor,
• the Infections Disease doctors, residents, medical students who know how to care for babies like Connor,
• the nurses who know how to care for babies like Connor and Moms and Dads of babies like Connor,
• family you can call in the middle of the night knowing they will start praying immediately,
• friends who won't yell at you for calling before 7am, who step in immediately with meals, rides for the other kids, phone calls to check up on Mom and Dad,
• Andrew and Joellyn who took over at home with taking care of Brandon and Tyler, feeding themselves, and keeping the house picked up, and finally
• to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior who gives a peace that passes all understanding.

Happy ending - Connor came home very late on Friday night as continues to do well. He is still sick with a bad cold, but breathing normally, being cute and making the rest of the family very happy. He and his mom (me) will not be going anywhere for a long while.

In Hopelessness and Near Despair

In hopelessness and near despair
I cry to you, my Savior!
My guilt is more than I can bear,
I have not earned your favor.
You know me as I really am:
How much is truth,
how much is sham;
Why should you heed my pleading?
I see my heart's condition now,
My heart's diverse affections

Why do I love the things you loathe?
I'm torn in two directions:
Now prodigal, now pharisee,
O God, be merciful to me;
Who else but you can help me?
I tremble as I feel your hand,
Expecting retribution,
Yet hear no curse or reprimand,
But grace and absolution:

With you there is forgiveness, Lord,
You speak the sweet, consoling word,
And I am sure you love me!
Forgiven, free of guilt and shame,
Grant me some time to render
A gift to glorify your name,
Love to reflect your splendor:

This world must know what I have learned,
That you bestow what none has earned:
THE JOY OF FULL FORGIVENESS!

Words by Jaroslav J. Vajda
Music by Lee Dengler


Choir practice is a highlight of my week. We work on a wide variety of music and right now the one above is my favorite. The music is haunting, sad and in a minor key until you sing the word "absolution" when the chords become uplifting and in a major key. We spend our time practicing and then time in Bible study and prayer - what a sweet time of worship. The whole evening - worship in study, worship in prayer and worship in song.

Random Thoughts

Who every heard of a 16 year old boy who doesn't want to get his driver's license?

How can you hope to help your kids with their homework when your husband (a former high school math teacher and now doctor) helps your daughter with her proof in Geometry only to have his daughter's Geometry teacher say it is all wrong?

What do you say to your 7 year old who only does half of his homework and doesn't want to finish the rest because "at least it wouldn't be an F"?

How do I make myself get up and clean the kitchen when I would rather continue to sit here holding my new baby reading blogs?

Andrew

Andrew, my 16 year old son, has finally been given permission to enter the world of the blogs. You can find his at www.ajwsmith.blogspot.com

Need a good laugh?

Click on the link above for the best laugh I've had in a really long time :)

Christmas 2005

It has taken us a few years, but we finally got a Christmas picture taken in our own home in front of our own fireplace. Ron had every lamp in the house lighting up our little picture and he still thought it was too dark.

Our family took a wonderful opportunity offered by our church to participate in Advent. Our pastor wrote a devotional book highlighting the four weeks before Christmas - Hope, Peace, Joy, Love with three purple candles and one pink candle - each standing for one week of Advent. Each night we, as a family, lit a candle on our Advent wreath corresponding with the week we were in, we had a devotional, sang a Christmas hymn and had prayer together and then on Christmas Eve we lit all four candles plus a white candle in the middle to represent the Christ Child. It was a special time each night giving us an opportunity to celebrate the coming of our Lord and Savior.



On the morning of Christmas Eve, we flew to California to spend the holiday with my parents and my brother and his wife and kids. One of the special things we were able to do was to visit the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library where the Air Force I used by Ronald Reagan was just retired and opened to the public in October. It was impressive to see this huge airplane inside the building. If you ever visit Southern California, don't miss seeing this important part of history. In the picture below we are standing in front of a piece of the Berlin Wall. We tried to expain the significance of this piece of wall to Brandon and Tyler - Brandon wasn't following - just notice his feet :)

Angels, from the realms of glory, wing your flight o'er all the earth;
Ye who from creation's story, now proclaim Messiah's birth:
Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ
the newborn King.

Shepherds in the fields abiding, watching o'er your flocks by night,
God with man is now residing, yonder shines the infant Light:
Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ,
the newborn King.

Sages, leave your contemplations, brighter visions beam afar;
Seek the great Desire of nations; ye have seen his natal star:
Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ
the newborn King.

Saints before the alter bending, watching long in hope and fear,
Suddenly the Lord, descending, in his temple shall appear:
Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ,
the newborn King.

All creation, join in praising God the Father, Spirit, Son;
Evermore your voices raising to th'eternal Three in One:
Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ,
the newborn King.

by James Montgomery

1771-1854

Why?

Why are we told not to hold our beautiful babies too much because they might get spoiled? I say spoil them all you can while they will let you hold them. All too soon he will want to venture out on his own.

Very Proud Big Brothers and Sister

Andrew, Joellyn, Brandon and Tyler are thrilled to have a new baby brother. We are so thankful for all their help. Andrew and Joellyn are old pros at this baby brother stuff and Brandon and Tyler think Connor is very "cool." They like to know where he is at all times and need to hold him at every opportunity.

Connor Matthew Robert Smith

October 20th the Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby boy. Connor made his entrance into the world at 8:01 am at 7 lbs. 15 oz. and 21 inches long. Ron and Joellyn were in the delivery room with me - a planned C-section. Joellyn's comment after the delivery was that it was "amazing." We (Ron and I) had a very hard time naming this little boy and finally decided on Connor because it seems to go with Brandon and Tyler; Matthew meaning "gift of the Lord" and Robert after Ron's maternal grandfather.

WE THANK THE LORD

Joellyn, Brandon, Tyler and I were on our way home from church last Sunday morning going about 45 - 50 miles an hour when a guy driving a small red truck pulled out in front of us giving me no way to stop. I slammed on the brakes and almost avoided him, but caught the corner of both vehicles causing both of us to spin and our airbags to deploy. Joellyn had injuries mostly from the airbag, I had the same plus my hand hit the windshield taking a divit out of my little finger. Brandon and Tyler had bruises and scrapes from the shoulder belts. Once I realized the kids were okay, I was, of course, very scared for the baby. I took a very uncomfortable ambulance ride on a backboard and ended up being at the hospital for 7 hours. 3 hours in the emergency getting xrays and a very basic ultrasound and then 4 hours in labor and delivery getting a very indepth ultrasound and then being monitured to make sure the baby is okay.

We are so thankful that we are all okay. Now we start the look for a new car - oh joy!

Amazing!

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of seering loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the choosen one
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and ressurection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
by Stuart Townsend

Wore out!

It is really hard work playing with all those cousins!!

Smith Grandchildren

From left to right: 1st row - Tyler, Gabrielle, Josiah, Arianna, Brandon 2nd row - Gracie being held by Robbie, Joellyn, Jocie, Timothy, JED, Breanna being held by Natasha 3rd row - Andrew, Jodi, Sonja, Jaymi, Larissa being held by Zachary. The Smith grandchildren range in age from 2 months to 20 years with a few more on the way.

Profile

I had my ultra sound on Tuesday, June 7 and we watched the video with the kids on Saturday. Here are a few pictures so you can see what we have been looking at.

A Big Tummy

The ultrasound technician said that babies with big tummies at this stage can end up being BIG babies. I hope not TOO big!!

A Foot

Girl or Boy??

This view is from the baby's bottom and it should be pretty obvious what you are seeing. Ron is still hoping that this is really the umbilical cord, but the ultrasound technician seemed very confident that Ron's hopes are in vain. I guess the gender pattern continues in this Smith family.

DIRT !!!

After many, many phone calls we finally have progress on our lawn. As you can see someone has finally come to plow down the jungle that was our front yard and hopefully we will be finding out soon how much dirt they need to bring in and what the cost will be.

Brandon's New Bike

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Smith and Grandma and Papa Rickard